If a Bro is seated next to some dude who’s stuck in the middle seat on an airplane, he shall yield him all of their shared armrest, unless the dude has
(a) taken his shoes off,
(b) is snoring,
(c) makes the Bro get up more than once to use the lavatory, or
(d) purchased headphones after they announced the in-flight movie is 27 Dresses. See Article 35.